adding up

we've lived through a compact history of negation

now our silences as thick
and unforgiving
as permanent markers
that cut through
our fundamental desire
to erase
to forgive
to hold hands
to complement

we are still tight in our togetherness
tight in making meaning
off the other

counting like coins
of devalued currency

we are still intense
with our attractions
knotted into our repulsions

loud mouthed retaliations

we are still concentrated
with the efforts
to make memory out
of missing

weaving nostalgia into
isolation

making each living day
the work
of finding
and not finding
the other

catalysts
in our own downfall

it is all the mathematics we are capable of

we still haven't been able to choose sides in this

single

story of us.