asking for forgiveness when you know not what you're doing

the end is near

the end is clear

we part

like broken ends of a single strand of hair we didn't care for in time. you know. when it would have mattered.

it is the end, my dear,

we are talking about the end here.

we grieve

we mope

we sulk

we weep

we skulk

we leave

the end i fear,

that end is here

my dear.

ill prepared, incapacitated, in denial,

we think of new beginnings.

comfort

when she says blubber

i know to snub her.

if she mentions beauty

i think incongruity.

as she talks of comfort

i imagine a familiar form -

snailing, snuggling, scuffling you.

she waits at the cusp,

between dawn and dusk,

between tomorrow and tomorrow,

as i vanish into dusty death.

she lays photograph after photograph

like petals for me to walk on.

i watch, straddling mind's webbed feet;

each photograph the ghost of a single past

ready to haunt future memories.

lullaby; raspy and amatuerish

it's a song i haven't heard before,

it's a voice new to my door.

the door creaks,

my heart whistles,

this melody runs like butter,

a girl dances through the windpipe of night

sends me into raspy, amatuerish sleep.

i dream with glee, i dream of she.

she - who?

can you really miss the elephant in the room?

hide and seek

i could chase after love for the rest of my life

chasing rabbit's paws with rabbit's hooves.

i could chase after love for ever i could

chasing fireflies on empty roofs.

i could chase after love with enough luck

chasing phone calls that ring like empty tea cups.

i could chase after love, i could chase it all right

while you chase your day, and i run through my night.

could i chase after love this one more time

as i chance into you, do i chase you out of sight?

where's your tree?

are you the beauty of my naked bough
squishing the earth beneath your naked toes
arching around my naked bark
embracing, engulfing me naked, stark?

sometimes, I hear voices that do ring
in between the living and dying,
are these voices of silence that sing?

someone drew a line between this earth and this sky
somewhere along this line, let's entwine, you and I.

sometimes, in the dark, when earth and sky combine,
a worm wriggles without words
another wriggles back to life.

cover her face, mine eyes dazzle

is poison the necessary antidote to interminable love?

with spleen, they shine

impossible to leave, she departs,
tragedy chuckles in knotted hearts.
tied together, odd adjunct,
linked forever
forever apart.

night uncloaks alarm,
she wakes up every day
hands touching mound of birth,
unable to dispatch.

sometimes, in the dark,
she curls up,
encases hopeless misery;
a weeping, tear filled sort of hourglass.
time traps tragedy;
preserves loss

after loss after loss
scrapes the womb clean.

you, unmothered, motherless, motherer,
cannot, will not protect the unbirthed.

love lover's frailty.
lover's loveless grief.
gold to ash to gold,
from lover to the unloved.

why can't strangers remain
unknown in the least, unknown at most?

sits on a stone, this mute child of death.
says not a word, watching love groan.
savage child does not kill, waiting
for love to take love's life.

i watch from this hole -
binary depositions, fetile arrangements.
beyond this hole, out of mirth,
juvenile spat inherit the earth.

i watch from this hole, incapable of birth.

fragile pearls, they slip, they smile
unafraid, with spleen, they shine.
and i, i grow rusty from the core.

a plunge, perhaps?

at the margins of mediocrity
lie the margins of the spectacular

the worm wriggles without words

sinking, sodding, beneath the skin
beneath this laughter, this faithful, sturdy, reliable, overworked sinfaced smile stretching skin affirmative. lie.

beneath the smiles, the grievances, the justifications
the incantations and saddened voices of motherhood that do yell.

beneath the belly, hard and full
beneath, bloated. unrecognizable fragments unshored.

beneath water fading, fading, forever
in the shush, slush, sounds cementing, eyes unwanted.

beneath the hair
turn, grow, merge, twist, tangled dance along broken screams, schizophrenic mania
abruptly pours out of soul.

beneath the chin
uptight, upright, up about, almost sprouts, given to whim.

beneath the wisdom
only shadows that mistrust, no way, i can, i say, you show, i know. lies.

beneath your sin
we all sleep, stolid ghosts. discord corners day into night.

beneath this earth
i sprawl, you crawl, you pluck, my back swallows dampening darkness.

beneath the dream
this awkward dream,
you grow your age, you cut this cage,
wake me up to my nightmare.